Early Morning

{tasting sweet potato}

Well I've been up since 5 (that's when little Miss Tuesday decided she was hungry) and while she has been able to fall back to sleep, I haven't. I tried for a bit but then decided I might as well just get up. It's really quite nice to have some quiet time in the morning before Ruby is ready to start the day.

She's so busy now that I don't get the same amount of down time as I did in those first couple months. She expects a certain standard of entertainment, including a variety of activities in a variety of locations. I spend a significant portion of my day doing anything and everything to make her laugh and let me tell you, she's not the easiest audience.

Ruby is 20 weeks old today, but I know counting things in weeks annoys a lot of people, pre-baby Emma included, so we'll round it to 4.5 months. While she's so much busier and demanding so much more time and attention (aka sleeping less during the day) now, she's so much cooler and more fun to hang out with. She watches and listens while I narrate every activity in our day.

So many people have asked me "Don't you looooove being a mom?" and it got me thinking. For me, I wouldn't say that loving being a mom is necessarily synonymous with loving my child. What I loooove (absolutely, without a doubt) is Ruby. My journey in to motherhood has given me a lot to think about and evaluate. It's the hardest thing I've done to date and I am learning as I go. Some of the stuff that comes along with motherhood is amazing (like seeing Ruby every morning as she looks up at me from her crib and her little face breaks into a huge smile) and some of it is sucky (like getting punched in the eye by your baby's flailing hands and crying because it legitimately hurt) but I am obsessed and in love with my baby. That's one thing I say with 100% certainty.

What do you think? Are motherhood and baby-loving one in the same or can they exist as two separate ideas? What about fatherhood?

Ps. It's 7am and still dark out. What's up with that?

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