Life Lessons from Saved by the Bell

Semi-recently I found out that all the Saved by the Bell episodes are now on Netflix (American Netflix, people). How did I find out? My adorable little brother said to me "did you know, that in the first season of SBTB, there was no Jessie, Kelly, or Slater?"
Yes. Yes I did. There was Zack, Screech, Lisa, Max and Nicki. And Miss Bliss, of course.

I am quite sure I know every single episode. I used to watch it every day after school. My mom would bring me a snack of choice - either popcorn with extra butter, or nachos made with cheese whiz (and we wonder why I'm addicted to popcorn and fake cheese).

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Anyway, Saved by the Bell provided so much more than after-school entertainment. It was the source of many life lessons, like these:

+ In school, like in life, there are distinct groups: The jocks, the nerds, the dweebs, the rich kids, the cheerleaders, the cool kids, etc. Except in real life, the nerds turn out to be the cool (and subsequently rich) kids.
+ Caffeine pills ARE habit forming, and taking too many can take you from 'so excited' to 'so scared'.
+ If you want tickets to that amazing concert, it's ok to hideout in a mall and sleep in the camping store in order to be first in line the next morning.
+ It's totally creepy to wear scuba gear to take pictures of girls at swim practice. Especially if you're selling the pics.
+ If you aren't going to graduate because you're one credit short, chances are, you can join the school ballet and dance your way into your cap and gown.
+ Never date the principal's daughter.
+ Speaking of principals, you should be his/her friend, after all, the last three letters spell 'Pal'.
+ Kicking the tv isn't a good way to express anger over a discontinued nail polish.
+ You can get way more dates if you learn to drive.
+ There's no cooler outfit than spandex shorts (just above the knee), denim shorts on top, a cropped sweatshirt, slouch socks, sneakers and a matching scrunchie.
+ If you're lucky enough to have a wildlife pond/area on your school's property, you should do whatever it takes to stop the big bad oil companies from drilling on your schoolyard.
+ If for some reason, you can afford to go to prom, having to wash your hair is a really good excuse.
+ The best way to display your old jeans is on a bulletin board, on the back of your bedroom door.
+ There's no hope, with dope.

I could go on all day, but instead, I'll leave you with this (which I just typed, without looking up any words, because I'm that much of a loser cool)

When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning, I don't think I'll ever make it on time.
By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by!
It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the bell.
When the teacher pops a test, I know I'm in a mess and the dog ate all my homework last night.
Riding low in my chair and she won't know that I'm there if I can hand it in tomorrow it'll be alright!
It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the bell.
{electric guitar bridge}
It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the
It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the
It's alright 'cause I'm saved by the bell!

Ps. Zack and Kelly's wedding anyone?

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